We all want miracles, but we don't want the hard times that inevitably precede miracles. There are no miracles without hard times. Hard times in our lives are inevitable, and the notion that we will one day arrive at a place in this life where we will never have trouble again is a fantasy. We can, however, get to a place of experiencing peace and joy regardless of what is going on around us.
When I want to know about the important things of this life, I turn to the Bible and go straight to the red words. I can’t find anywhere in the Bible where we’re promised a life without problems. In fact Jesus as much as said the opposite when He said that in this life we would have trouble. The good news is that wasn’t the end of His statement. He went on to say that He had overcome the world and its troubles. What this means is that we don’t have to go through this life from one hard time to the next. We can invite Jesus into our lives, and have His help in overcoming every trouble we face.
It sounds beautiful, and it is, but inviting Jesus into our lives doesn’t mean that life will, from the day we become Christian, be one big happy party. Even when we have Jesus in our lives and we are fully yielded to God‘s will, we will experience times of discomfort and possibly even times of outright pain. It would be wonderful if giving our lives to Jesus meant nothing but rainbows and unicorns in our future, but that’s not the plan for most of us, and to believe that it is will likely result in disappointment and disillusionment.
The reality is that when we give our lives to Jesus, we begin our training to become ambassadors of the kingdom of God. In that role, we’re responsible to take Jesus, and all of His power, into difficult situations. As Christians, we are not to run away from difficult things, but rather to run toward them because we bring within us the ultimate solution to every problem—Jesus. If Christians shy away from difficulties and try to live carefree, trouble-free lives, then lots of problems in the world remain unresolved by the One who can turn those problems into opportunities for good.
All of this doesn’t mean that we won’t have good times. We certainly will! As we bring the power of God (who is Love) into difficult situations, we experience victory after victory. Every answered prayer increases our faith and dissolves fear and anxiety so that we become more and more qualified and equipped to take Love with us into chaos, dysfunction, and even evil without fear or anxiety.
With Jesus we can get through difficult situations to the miracles that God will use us to bring about.
The operative words here are that God uses us to bring about His desired results. We are called to take an active role in bringing about God’s miracles. It would be so much easier if we could just sit back and passively wait for Jesus to do His thing. But more often than not that’s not how it works. The miracle happens when we stay instead of running, when we forgive when the other person does not deserve our forgiveness, when we are kind when it’s the very last thing we want to be, and when we love others when they cannot or will not return that love. Staying in relationship with people who aren’t behaving well is what it means to love someone into wholeness. Doing the uncomfortable, and sometimes painful, work of loving someone who is difficult to love gives us the priceless opportunity to watch God (who is Love) change them. You may not see the changes right away, but eventually, if you refuse to give up, you will see the results of the power of Love.
Conversations with God--30 Days that will change your life and your relationship with God
The very definition of mercy is forgiveness that is undeserved. When we can show mercy to someone who hasn’t earned it, doesn’t deserve it, and who may never fully understand the hurt they’ve caused, God’s supernatural love begins to work in their life and in our own, as well as in the lives of everyone within our influence. Think of the young people who watch us model forgiving. Consider the hard-hearted people who watch us choose to stay when it would be so much easier and less painful to leave.
So what does it look like to love someone who doesn’t deserve our love? It is ignoring an insult. It is deciding never to take offense or to count a wrong done to you. It is forgiving someone when everyone else says that what they’ve done is unforgivable.
In practical terms, going through the tough times before the miraculous healing looks like taking a deep breath and holding your tongue when you would rather lash out in response to bad behavior, it’s going alone when you wish the other person would join you, it’s taking a walk instead of staying to argue, it’s writing down your feelings rather than sharing them when the other person is incapable of really hearing you, it's seeking wise counsel from a trusted friend, pastor, or therapist, and it’s praying, praying, praying and then visualizing the results that you believe God can bring about.
This doesn’t imply that we condone or ignore bad behavior. It’s important to clearly communicate what we hope for and what we expect of the people in our lives. Remember though, that requests, advice, and chastisement are always better received when communicated with mercy and love along with a reminder of the good qualities that you believe are inside that person.
Loving someone into wholeness is a decision we make in our minds. Decisions like this should not be driven by emotion because our emotions are always going to be centered on self rather than on Jesus and the power of His love.
When we make a decision to love someone, we have to do it not only with our hearts, but with our minds. We have to adopt a mindset that we are going to love no matter what; we’re going to be kind no matter what; and we’re going to forgive no matter what. Let me quickly add that I’m not suggesting that people who are being abused should remain within reach of the abusive person, but I am suggesting that we can get to a safe place, then look past the bad behavior to the brokenness beneath, and pray for that person and forgive that person while remaining at a safe distance.
When we decide to take on the responsibility of loving a difficult, wounded or broken person into wholeness, God can use us and work through us in ways that we may never have thought possible. The results of leading our lives with love can make our lives beautiful and rewarding in ways that you may not now even be able to imagine.
The God who is Love came down from His Heavenly seat of royalty to become one of us. Jesus became vulnerable, grieved, ridiculed, falsely accused, tortured, and murdered. And for what? What purpose could possibly be worth leaving paradise? The answer is YOU, and me, and everyone else who wants to experience the next life in Heaven. He thought we were worth the pain He endured to give us the opportunity to be loved into wholeness and to spend eternity with Him.
God’s Love isn't conditional or based on our behavior. His Love heals us and fills us with a peace that truly does surpass all human understanding, and with a joy that gives us strength and is indescribable —it’s so much deeper than happiness.
Imagine making the kind of choice that Jesus made for someone you love. He judged us worthy of His sacrifice before we were born, which means that He loved us even when we were at our worst. Is the person in your life who isn't behaving well worth the discomfort it will take to heal him or her into a person who is able to gratefully love you in return? If you believe that there is good in them beneath the poor choices and bad behavior, then consider sacrificing your comfort to love that person into wholeness.
Loving someone who cannot or will not return your love is the most Christlike thing any of us can do, and it’s the best way to cooperate and collaborate with God between the time we say, “Please Jesus” and the time we say, “THANK YOU JESUS FOR ANSWERING MY PRAYERS!”
Rhonda Sciortino was loved into wholeness after being broken by a childhood of abandonment and abuse. The power of God's love shown through people who invested in her equipped her to write Love Is Action--How To Change The World With Love.
Through her writing, speaking, podcast, online course, and retreats, she helps others to find and fulfill the good purpose for their lives and to enjoy the real success that accompanies it.
You’ve got one job in this life! It’s to find and fulfill the purpose for which you were born and perfectly matched. This podcast is to help you find and fulfill your purpose and to enjoy the real success that accompanies it. Subscribe now and share this with a friend. Listen at www.rhonda.org/podcast or wherever you get good podcasts.
For more information on loving someone who is difficult to love, check out my four-part series:
How to live with someone who acts like a jerk part 1
How to live with someone who acts like a jerk part 2
How to live with someone who acts like a jerk part 3
How to live with someone who acts like a jerk part 4
Supporting scripture references:
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:7-8
“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7
“…the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10
“God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
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